Hard to believe the year is ending. Since you've been gone you have turned another year older......but you will remain forever forty. I guess you were right when u said you wouldn't live to be an old man. I can only hope and pray that u are in heaven and I will see u again someday. I'm very sad that u missed Christmas with Chloe. I'm sure she is too. I will always love u and will always wonder what happened and what u were thinking in the last moments of your life. Life is so fragile and underappreciated. I wish they would atleast figure out who killed u and why. It wont bring u back but....idk. maybe it is best left this way. Only God knows. Why couldn't you have just stayed home? I hope u are happy and painfree where ever u are. Happy new years.

Death is nothing at all I have only slipped away into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other That we are still Call me by my old familiar name Speak to me in the easy way you always used Put no difference into your tone Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed At the little jokes we always enjoyed together Play, smile, think of me, pray for me Let my name be ever the household word that it always was Let it be spoken without effort Without the ghost of a shadow in it Life means all that it ever meant It is the same as it ever was There is absolute unbroken continuity What is death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind Because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you for an interval Somewhere very near Just around the corner All is well. Nothing is past; nothing is lost One brief moment and all will be as it was before How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

LAST NIGHT I DREAMED ABOUT JOSH. I SAW HIS FACE SO CLEARLY, BUT FOR SOME REASON HE WOULDN'T LOOK AT ME. I WONDER IF ITS BECAUSE I FEEL GUILTY CAUSE I SAID I COULDN'T STAND TO LOOK AT HIM, BUT I DID LOOK AT HIM AND IT WAS SO AWFUL THAT IT DID NOT LOOK LIKE HIM AT ALL. HE WOULD HAVE BEEN MORTIFIED THAT EVERYONE COULD SEE HIM LIKE THAT. MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE WOULDN'T LOOK AT ME CAUSE HE KNOWS EVERYONE SAW HIM THAT WAY AND HE'S UPSET WITH US. IF THAT'S IT I HOPE HE REALIZES THAT IT HELPED HIS DADDY TO BE ABLE TO SEE HIM. I CAN ONLY HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOU ARE RESTING IN PEACE JOSH, SAFE AND PAIN FREE NOW.